


As You Wish

by CursedbyPhan



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Hypoglycemia, Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 13:58:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7804519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CursedbyPhan/pseuds/CursedbyPhan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Y/N has been best friends with Dan Howell for as long as she can remember. They both like each other but are too embarrassed to say anything. Y/N has never told Dan about her hypoglycemia, and he thinks she’s dying when she suddenly has an attack in the middle of the night and accidentally exposes his feelings to her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As You Wish

It was all Dan's bright idea to basically spoil me with tons of junk food when I got to London. He didn't do it intentionally. He was just so excited that I was going to be staying with him and Phil for a while as I looked for an apartment that he got a little carried away. To be honest, I don't think I've ever had that much junk food in one day - let alone my entire life. Dan and Phil took me out for the day and even surprisingly woke up early to do so. They knew I've never been to London, so Dan was over the moon to show me everything. It was adorable to see him practically bouncing with each step everywhere we went. It was almost like he was on his own little sugar high, and when Dan is on a sugar high that means at some point in the near future you will be, too. Dan, the turnip, was giving me such a good time I kept forgetting to watch what I was eating.

I started to know something was wrong when it was almost midnight. I had a weird sensation throughout my body, like it was missing something, but I couldn't tell what. I tried to shake it off as the movie we were watching finished, but the feeling still lingered there like an annoying mosquito. It sort of reminded me of the start of a hypoglycemic attack and my stomach sunk. I didn't want to have an episode here. I quickly started thinking of all the things I ate today and felt my stomach hit rock bottom. I was fucked thanks to Dan making me eat all these new sugary foods I haven't had before. Daniel Howell, you bloody fucking spork.

"What did I do?!" Dan looked at you from his spot on the couch the very definition of offended.

My face heated up and felt like it was going to melt. I quickly tried to think of an excuse, "The, um, the – the time. It's late and I've had a long day. I can't believe your nocturnal ass kept me up this late I'm going to bed."

Dan just laughed at me as I went to go get ready for bed. I smiled despite myself and felt my love for him grow. His smile and laugh was so hypnotic that I forgot I stopped and was just standing there in the doorway staring at him with a dopey grin on my face.

"Um, Y/N? You okay there?" Phil laughed wearing a knowing smile. I blushed more, if that was even possible, and mumbled a quick 'yes' before scooting out of there.

After much arguing, Dan had made me take his bed for at least the first night and said he'd sleep on the couch. I eventually gave up and caved. My sick feeling hadn't gone away yet and I just hoped this was a false alarm. It's so embarrassing to be hypoglycemic. I was always the strong, tom boy girl in our relationship and I didn't want that to change. I wasn't weak, and I hated how this illness made people pity me. My illness didn't define me, in fact, it hasn't made my life worse but better in a sense. Since this illness is all about keeping your blood sugar from falling to a dangerous level, it's made me learn how to eat healthier and work out on a more daily basis. That's really the only silver lining to this; otherwise, it's a bloody pain in the ass. I don't want Dan to know. I don't want him treating me different, frailer, like everyone else did after they found out. They started treating me as if my illness was all I was. As I laid in bed, I prayed that I was wrong about this being a start of an attack.

I woke up at 3 am to find that all my prayers we in vain. From the moment I was conscious, I knew I was fucked. The uncontrollable shakes had already started and my body temperature had dropped tremendously to the point I only felt numb. I tried to get out of bed to go through the drill of having attacks, but as soon as I stood up, my knees weakened, and I fell to the ground. That's when my stomach sunk, and I knew this was not going to be like any attack I've ever had. I tried to shakily stand up again only to fall to my knees once more. My head was starting to become foggier than before now that I was wide awake and all the side effects were starting to hit me at full force. I knew this was going to end bad if I couldn't get to the bathroom fast. I crawled over to the wall and pulled myself up using the doorframe. I stumbled down the hallway heavily using the wall as my support until I made it and practically fell into the bathroom. I shut the door behind me and locked it breathing out heavily. I pulled myself up using the sink and studied myself in the mirror. I looked absolutely sickly. I had started sweating and my skin looked pasty white, practically drained of color. My eyes were blood shot and my body was visibly wracking with shaking which was starting to hurt more and more by the second. This was bad. Usually, I shook a little, went to the bathroom, felt sick, threw up for a bit, then went back to bed. However, this was starting to turn into something where I might have to go to the A&E.

That's when the pain hit me. I had never had pain before during an episode, and it caught me off guard. My body was already weak from all my internal organs feeling like they were shaking out of my body, and I thought I could almost feel every beat of my heart. The pain shot through my torso at a lightning speed, practically knocking me off my feet. I fell into the sink knocking off Phil's glass cup and shattering it on the ground. I shrieked as I continued to fall sideways hitting my head harshly on the side of the porcelain toilet and falling into the glass shards.

* * *

I woke up to banging on the door. My head was throbbing and my whole body was pulsing. I kept hearing a buzzing in my head and I tried to roll up into a sitting position, but instead fell back yelling in pain. My outburst only made the banging and yelling outside the door get louder. By this point, I was too far gone in my own pain to care. In fact, I was starting to get scared. These had never been this bad before. I was currently curled up on the floor in the fetal position crying and shaking uncontrollably from the pain. To anyone else it probably looked as if I was having a seizure. I didn't know what to do and it made me terrified. My body was out of control, and I didn't know how to stop it. For the first time in my life, I was so terrified that I started crying. "I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die," I whispered to myself as I cried out again in pain. That's when the yelling and banging started to make sense in my buzzing, fog filled head.

I heard Dan's voice screaming by this point, "Y/N! What's happening? Y/N! Y/N, ANSWER ME!"

Phil was also banging on the door by this point too, "Y/N, what's wrong? Open the door! Are you hurt? We heard a crash!"

The pain was so unbearable by this point I caved and called out to Dan. If this episode was going to kill me, then damn it all I was going with a fight. "D-Dan. Please...help...me. It h-hurts," I tried to say but most of it came out as sobs. It was deadly silent behind the door for a second before I heard Dan quickly tell Phil to step back and that he was going to break down the door. It took three kicks and then suddenly Dan was by my side and had me cradled in his arms.

"Oh my God, Y/N. What happened?" Dan's eyes were as wide as saucers and his face was pale. He looked scared shitless, as did Phil who had leaned down next to him. Phil took one look at you and took his phone out.

"Dan I'm calling a taxi. We need to get her to an A&E fast," Phil speed dialed the number panic evident in his voice.

I tugged on Dan's sleeve to get his attention, but just as I opened my mouth to say something another wave of searing pain hit me. I raggedly cried out this time my body convulsing against Dan as the shakes became uncontrollable. All the pain was starting to make me feel faint and I was having trouble focusing on anything. Dan looked so helpless above me and tried to shush me telling me everything was going to be okay holding me tighter to his chest. That's when it all started to become too real for me and reality finally sunk in that I could die here in this moment if my blood sugar got too low. My body wouldn't be able to replace it fast enough and I'd continue to keep falling off the edge until I succeeded in doing so. That's when my vision started to go in and out and I felt my consciousness wanting to give out. I started panicking and having trouble breathing and Dan started to yell my name. I wanted to respond, but I felt like I was drowning and I couldn't get anything out. I didn't want to leave like this. I was afraid that if I blacked out I wouldn't wake up, but by this point I was fighting my eyes rolling back into my head. I knew I was only prolonging the inevitable.

Dan noticed me fighting to keep my eyes open and immediately went to the worst conclusion and called out to Phil who was talking urgently to the taxi company outside the door. "Phil! PHIL! Help me! I don't know what to do! I think she might be – might – m-m-might be d-d-dying. Oh, God, please no! Damn it, Y/N, fight it! Don't fall asleep! Please don't leave me! You mean the w-world to me, and, oh fuck, I don't know what I'd do without you! I have so much I want to do with you. Please don't leave me, I love you!" Dan sobbed above me as his tears fell onto my face. 

Through the fog of pain I felt happy to hear Dan say it. I've been waiting forever to hear those three little words, but they really had the opposite effect on me than what Dan wanted. Hearing them made me feel like I could let go. I felt myself falling deeper and fighting the blackness less. Dan felt me growing limper in his arms and started to practically yell my name to give me something to focus on.

"Dan," I whispered my eyes searching through the blurry mist for him.

"I'm here," he choked, cupping my face and brushing his thumb against my cheek.

I had to get this out before I blacked out, but I felt myself fading fast. I hurriedly tried to whisper to him as I blacked out, "Dan.. I ...I...I-I-" –love you, too. And then the nothingness overtook me, the last thing I hear being Dan screaming for me and Phil yelling at him that the taxi is here.

* * *

The first thing I became aware of was the physical sense I had a body. I felt the nothingness lingering on my consciousness as I slowly awoke all of my senses: first touch, then smell, taste, hearing, and lastly sight. I felt like I was blinded when I first opened my eyes and quickly shut them again. The second time I opened them more slowly and let my eyes get adjusted to the room. The first thing I fully noticed was a weight on my hand. I looked down to see tussled hobbit hair buried into the covers on the side of my hospital bed and a hand clutching mine for dear life. I smiled to myself as I watched Dan's back move up and down rhythmically as he slept. I carefully took my hand out from his and softly moved my fingers through his hair brushing my hand against his cheek. I noticed his cheeks were tear stained and I slightly frowned as I mindlessly tried to wipe the invisible tears away. Dan nuzzled into my hand and slowly blinked open his eyes then shot straight up once he realized whose hand it was.

"Before you say that cheesy movie line in every drama, 'Y/N! You're awake!', Let me save you the trouble by saying, yes, I'm quite aware I'm awake, though I'm sorry I woke you up. You're cute when you sleep with hobbit hair." I sarcastically joked to lighten the mood.

Dan just stood there for a second then suddenly leaped at me crying his heart out causing me to let out an 'oof' as he clutched on to me. I hugged him back as best as I could. "I forgot my sarcasm has that affect on you," I laughed. Dan leaned back and sat on the bed wiping his tears away and sniffling once.

"Hey, love!" Dan laughed lightly batting me in the good arm. We both blushed madly once both of us realized what he said.

"Dan," you said suddenly serious.

"Yeah?" his voice slightly strained.

"While I was delirious in the bathroom near the end," I paused nervous to go on, "I thought you said that you loved me. Is that true? I mean I could have imagined it. I don't – I don't even know what I'm saying never mind." I buried my face into one of my hands while the other one waved off the idea. I suddenly felt Dan's hands pull my hands into his making me look up at him.

He looked so scared and vulnerable, but he spoke with a clear voice, "Y/N I mean it. I love you. I have for a long time."

I felt my heart skip a beat and before I even knew what I was doing; I was kissing Dan on the lips and he was kissing me back. I felt a butterfly spark in my chest as I pulled away. I smiled softly at him biting my lip as I gazed into his eyes only a few inches from mine.

"Y/N," Dan stated and I hummed back, "what happened?"

I stare down in my lap as the moment as the subject I'd been avoiding all these years suddenly became fair game to talk about. "I didn't want you to know," I blurted out.

"What?"

"I didn't want you to know I'm hypoglycemic. I-I was afraid that you would start treating me differently like everyone else did – like this damned sickness is all you can see. I wanted to be strong because I always feel so helpless with this stupid thing burdening me. I never know when it's going to happen and when it does I can't sleep right for weeks! You would always ask me why I looked so tired growing up and it was because of this thing. I can't stand it! I can't have another person I'm close to start treating me as if I'm frail. I'm still me, Dan. I don't want you to think of me this way, but now I'm scared and helpless because that was the worst one of my attacks has ever been. Dan, I almost died – or at least it felt like it. I'm scared because I feel like I've finally given into it. I-"

"Y/N," Dan said gently, "I don't care that you're sick. I'm sure you could still get out of this hospital bed and beat the crap out of me if you really wanted to. You're still Y/N and that will never change for me, sick or not; now I just know not to feed you so much sugar. You don't have to be scared. The doctor said you had a severe reaction, but what made it get to that point was actually you hitting your head on the toilet. It gave you a minor concussion that started making your hypoglycemia go into over drive. You didn't eat enough junk food to kill yourself. You were close to the life threatening lack of glucose level before you hit your head, but you're okay now. There's nothing to be scarred of. Not while I'm here. Okay, love?" Dan cupped my cheek while brushing his thumb back and forth.

"Okay," I said and then started giggling a few seconds later.

"What? What's so funny?" he asked.

"We just did a John Green thing," I laughed.

"Oh, God, I'm sorry. I'm trash I'll get out," he laughed leaning back.

"Oh, just kiss me you lovable meme," I grabbed his collar pulling him forward.

"As you wish"

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to leave comments, questions, and suggestions!~  
> You can find me on Tumblr and Wattpad as CursedbyPhan! ~~


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